TCs Big Step

[poos_n_wees]

Yeah hang in there darl! Not long to go before you can strut your stuff on stage and show off them hard earned muskelzzz!!

[Top Cat]

Cheers guys. i know its only a hop skip and jump away and i guess thats whats freaking me out a bit. im scared im not hard enough or muscley enough or thin enough. i cant win.

you know something else iv realised? is how much emphasis is put on food in life. social occasions theres food, chiling out theres food, feeling down theres food, bored theres food. food food food. or maybe thats just my mind lately haha, the lack of it makes me notice it more and more.

im worried that im going to be one of those bingers when all this is over, just cos i havent/cant have it now. which is somethign i really really dont want. i want to remain within 5kgs of my competition weight, which i hope/think is very do-able. i think i just miss the choice of whether to eat somethign or not to. choice is a really powerful thing to have, and to not have it makes you feel so....controlled and restricted. i hate it! but only 24 days till the choice is back in my hands.

[Top Cat]

Hey All,

Well had my weekly nutrition appt on Sat and to my amazement it went great. Results far exceeded my expectations and some. i didnt think i had or would have lost that much i just didnt feel it in my body or the way i looked despite hearing compliments and comments from outsiders. So went into the appt head down and not that happy with myself. Got my measurements and to my shock lost 3% body fat and gained 700g mass. I just didnt see it.

Then i got a wee telling off from the nutritionist saying that its all in the mind now. From now to the finish its a mental thing. if i dont believe i look the greatest then im not going to. and she was right. i have such a negative mind set that i talk myself out of things. iv done it in all my sports, lost before iv even competed.

So goal for this week - Positive thoughts, time for some sports psychology. Just gotta focus on the positives, and now knowing that im fully ready for competition, i need to focus on the final touches, not dwell on things that are only in my head.

so we're still on 3 low cal days and 1 hi cal day. and now we're just perfecting what has been done. 2 weeks of final touches before the final week of cut down. its all becoming very real and im feelnig really good about it despite having a freaken head cold.

oh can anyone help me answer a question?

if i take codrel for my head cold will anything in that come up in a drug test? dont want something stupid like this to ruin all my hard work?

[poos_n_wees]

Nice work with the nutritionist appointment! You gained mass while simultaneously losing MORE fat... all on lowered cals. You ROCK

Re: head cold tabs.. just speaking for myself here, but I wouldn't risk it. Are you able to ride it out? Take a sickie off work and spend the day in bed with some dvds and coffee?

[Top Cat]

Nice work with the nutritionist appointment! You gained mass while simultaneously losing MORE fat... all on lowered cals. You ROCK

Re: head cold tabs.. just speaking for myself here, but I wouldn't risk it. Are you able to ride it out? Take a sickie off work and spend the day in bed with some dvds and coffee?

thanks PW, but yeah cant afford to take the time off work yet, we're hitting the peak time of year so means work workk work.

[Top Cat]

Well this week has been a roller coaster of mixed emotions.

Sad, Happy, confused, confident, low self esteem, pain, suffering, hi's and definately lows.

Im just happy this week is nearly over and my weigh in is tomorrow. again i havent noticed any changes and its hard to remain positive and think good positive thoughts when you cant see what everyone else see's. Every says im looking great (feel like crap) but looking great. WHY CANT I SEE IT? am i too harsh? i just dont know.

Im trying to remain positive and confident and think happy thoughts. it is a very difficult process and hard on the mind aswell as the body. feels like the body is taking longer to recover from workouts aswell. my back muscles are soooo sore, but i cant complain bout that really, just means i am workign hard enough in the gym.

Cardio at nights SUCK cos its just so darn hard getting my heart rate up to the desired bpm just cos i have no energy.

i know life is going to be tuff these next 2 weeks, and i know im going to try my hardest to get through it alive and with some people that still love me, not cos they have to but cos they want to. haha. im giong to make a huge effort to not bite peoples heads off, and think positively.

Picking up my bikini this weekend, that should be ..um...fun?

Also getting the girl who is doing my make up to have a play aswell. we have everythign pretty much sorted so the only thing to worry bout or work on is the bod.

[Evie]

You're doing great! I'm excited for you. In all honesty it's count down time now, the last weeks esp. are fun, challenging, and exciting. Keep your eyes on the prize!

I hated evening cardio, all you want to do is go home and do nothing - but CARDIO stands in the way of that, there's too many people at night too - which dosen't help the mood or thoughts of screaming at people to get off 'your' machine so you can get it over with, or having a little cry on the bike 'just cause nobody cares or understands' and they all get to eat what ever they want! - :roll: he he he or was that just me who lost the plot like that? Also I think it would be worse now too what with it being colder!

You should be so proud of yourself - this is a masive life changing achievement.

[Paul]

I always remeber friday night 8.00 pm on the bike only one in the gym thinking what the f***k am i doing. :cry:

[Top Cat]

I hated evening cardio, all you want to do is go home and do nothing - but CARDIO stands in the way of that, there's too many people at night too - which dosen't help the mood or thoughts of screaming at people to get off 'your' machine so you can get it over with, or having a little cry on the bike 'just cause nobody cares or understands' and they all get to eat what ever they want! - :roll: he he he or was that just me who lost the plot like that? Also I think it would be worse now too what with it being colder!

OH someone that understands me. i so do want to just go up to people on the cross trainer and be like 'could you like um..hurry the hell up!' instead i just resort to playing it out in my head, which kills bout 5mins.

or worse when you get people staring at you, god i just wana punch them in the face. like 'yes what the hells your problem?' hmm maybe im just losing it. :x

[samoan_muscle]

or worse when you get people staring at you, god i just wana punch them in the face. like 'yes what the hells your problem?' hmm maybe im just losing it. :x

Shucks yeah - I hate it wen people gawk at you while youre working out...it's really annoying...specially having guys just stare...thats fuckn creepy :evil: :evil: :evil:

I can remember when training for the harbour show last year I would go up to people at the gym that were blatantly staring and ask them if they had an eye problem or something....man I was crazy.

People dont stare at me anymore though...I think it's becasue i've gotten fat LOL. :pfft:

[Andrew]

Think positive..if people are staring at you there must be something worth staring at :nod:

[Top Cat]

Think positive..if people are staring at you there must be something worth staring at :nod:

oh well thats one way of looking at it i guess. :nod:

WOW ballsy Samoan Muscle, instead i just give people the 'yes?' look. not so effective, they still stare.

[ohjoshua]

I can remember when training for the harbour show last year I would go up to people at the gym that were blatantly staring and ask them if they had an eye problem or something....man I was crazy.

did you actually use the "have you got an eye problem" line? :pfft: thats awesome! lol

[Top Cat]

Hey All,

Well my weekends are fast becoming non existent. seems all i do is train, eat, sleep and work.

Had my weekly nutrition appt which was a disappointment. lost 500g mass and didnt lose anythign in fat. dam you body! We think it might have been due to me being sick and me over training my body while it was trying to get rid of this bug. The mind is still in there, and the body hasnt completely fallen apart. Last week the body was feeling very very sore after my workouts and it was definately taking longer to recover so hopefuly this week i get the results i need/want.

Aim - to lose 2kgs before comp (2 weeks). So this week (and next i suspect) is hard core dieting. and heavy weights. We're on about 1200cals and have increased the cardio to an hour and a half a day. plus weights. The food is gonna be easy to do, we've got a fair bit of fresh fish in there so dont think il be feeling too hungry in between meals (WOOHOOOO).

Went for the final bikini fitting. Which i was a lil nervous bout, but to my amazement i loved it! its so much nicer than id ever imagined and i dont feel as silly as i thought i would.

Managed to keep the self doubt thoughts to a minimum and just focus on what needed to be done. figure i dont have nether the time nor the energy to be wasting on sily thoughts, we've come this far, and i want it so bad i can taste it. (or maybe im just imagining the taste of sweet sweet natural confectionary lollies at the end) etha way it taste good!

So hopefully this mood keeps up through the week. il keep you all posted...till the next one, keep smiling!

[poos_n_wees]

Yay for heavy weights! Has your trainer cut back on the volume of your weight training?

Good luck with the dieting.. you'll be sawwwwweeeeeeeeeeettt

PS. 2 weeks!!

[Top Cat]

WOOPS just realised this got posted as a new topic instead of an addition to my journal, anyone no how to fix it? haha cant half tell iv had my cals cut ha?

[Paul]

once you drop your water you will notice a big differnce in weight and apperance literaly overnight l

[Top Cat]

once you drop your water you will notice a big differnce in weight and apperance literaly overnight l

oh i hope so :?

[Truds]

Hang in there TC, only 2 weeks to go, sometimes this becomes the easiest two weeks of the diet - you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and any temptation is easily dismissed 'cos of all the hard work you've done. Just remember amongst all your training and dieting to take some time out to relax, posing practice and to just think about how far you've come. :nod:

[Top Cat]

Hang in there TC, only 2 weeks to go, sometimes this becomes the easiest two weeks of the diet - you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and any temptation is easily dismissed 'cos of all the hard work you've done. Just remember amongst all your training and dieting to take some time out to relax, posing practice and to just think about how far you've come. :nod:

yeah your right about the last 2 weeks being not so bad temptation wise. i definately look at all the tasty food and think 'eh so not worth it'. its just the energy or lack thereof that is getting to me. my cardio that i would never usually struggle with seems like the hardest thign in the world. my mind is trying to tell my body to move but my body is just so sluggish. its a very new and odd feeling for me. but im pushing through it.

can not wait for my days off prior to comp, they will be my 'reflection' days, where i can see myself getting rather proud of myself. :nod:

[Top Cat]

Oh man this last couple of weeks is proving harder than i had ever anticipated. Everyday is a challenge, from the moment the alarm goes off to the moment i lay my head on the pillow.

The food is no problem at all, i have no problems saying no to temptation nor do i have the energy to even struggle with it.

Its the long days, and hard trainings that are really taking there tolls on my body and mind.

Morning training sessions are a mish. When the alarm goes off its like ground hog day, its no fun, no fun at all. When i get to the gym my weights are definately not going anywhere but down, feel like i need a spotter for every damn rep, not a good feeling, does nothign for my confidence.

And then there is my 1hr cardio at the end of the day seems the hardest at the moment, i know its only 1 hr but the body just wont have a bar of it, im struggling but am managing to literally drag my sorry ass round the streets in this freezing weather.

Then after that i have to fit in some posing and routine practise. Which at first i thought the routine was gonig to be too fast for me to even learn, now im thinking it needs some more moves in there. haha.

My moods are definatley getting worse. i wake up in a bad mood and go to bed in a blank mood. everything in between in a mix of emotions. im on a short wick all the time and i can see people tredding carefully when around me.

All in all i feel crappy. I remember the nutritionist saying 'this is all about looking the best you'll ever look but feeling the worst you've ever felt' she was right. :nod: well about the feeling the worst part anyways.

not sure about how i feel about how my body looks at the moment, i know everythign is smaller and toned but is it toned enough. i have this fear that there will be 4 girls in my category and il be the one to miss out. but im going to try and convert all my energy (or what i have left) into thinking i feel great. i figure i may aswell try reverse psychology on myself. its all in the mind....

[Evie]

You are doing so so well! So sure you're gunna look so great up there. Hopefully we can come support you on the day! Theres nothing like people cheering for you when your on stage!

[Top Cat]

You are doing so so well! So sure you're gunna look so great up there. Hopefully we can come support you on the day! Theres nothing like people cheering for you when your on stage!

Thanks Evie, i feel like a lil kid, feeling like i need people to tell me im doing good. haha. pathetic. Support is definately a huge part of all this ay, bugger doing this alone!

[Evie]

So true - and to sound like a kid ... on the day of the comp you feel the 'bestest' and the 'worsetest' you've ever felt in your life! (well it seemed so at the time) All dehydrated, tired, depleated, thursty, nervous :shock: ... then all excited, tanned, buff, proud! :nod: Then you'll want to do it all over again! After eating something NOT on your diet.

And of-course you want people to tell you how well you are doing - when you work hard (like you are) you want recognition. Stupid thing is most people (nonBB) don't understand. Gosh right now I don't understand - cause I'm not you and I'm in a different phase of my training (although I have a fair idea) my memory is still pretty vivid and clear about my last few weeks leading up to comp.

Go hard (like you are) and remember that friends, family, loved ones (and some work mates) will forgive you for your short temper ... in time :pfft:

[Top Cat]

Hey All,

Well currently my mood is good. My body is fully nakered and has no energy what so ever. my legs feel lazy and un-cooperative but thanks to the thermos my mind is still in the game..just.

Had my moment of 'reflection' on Saturday during my hr of cardio. Realised how far iv come and just felt truly awesome about everything. which was much needed because after posing on Friday i just wanted to scream 'IV HAD ENOUGH!' Thank fully i woke up in a different mood.

My nutrition appt went well, with a fantastic result of 1kg fat loss. and this week is all bout feeling shitty and looking great..apparently. Carbs are all but gone, and im stocking up on water, although the body decides to get rid of it as fast as it goes in, joy, NOT. i thought i pee'd alot before now its every dam 15mins, so not fun, considering i have to battle stairs every damn time, which my lazy legs are struggling with to say the least.

But i gotta think that in a few days il be losing the water so spose i gotta make the most of it.

Have days off on Thurs and Fri which im totally looking forward to. And making the most of every last training session despite my stubborn body refusing to work at times.

Have a massage this week too which will be freaken fantastic and much needed.

I am pretty sure everythign is in order and im just counting down till its game day.

Till then... :wink: