Going to the gym and eating lots etc

[GyzzBrah]

Lol was just fat.

 

My tits look that way when its warm, but when its cold they look normaler. Idk why.

 

You seen this pic before btw when I posted it last year.

[maccaz]

so to refer back to my earlier questions, have you gone to gym this week?

waste more energy being upset about it than it would take to resolve the issue

[GyzzBrah]

@maccaz nah havent been, but I will go today.

 

Mostly sad since in the picture my legs are small compared to most people here but that was when I started training them hard for a few months in the first time, and they were skinny as but as you can see in the picture had put on decent muscle on them when you take into consideration how long I had been training them for etc.

 

That pic was when I was finally not a pussy when squatting was doing wookie method or something at that time, put on 30kg on my front squat in a month, and with @Wookie programming, also got my squat from doing 80kgs for only a couple of reps, to 80kg being my high rep sets and got squat up to 110kgs I believe.

 

Then a month or so later was on my way to being able to do 120 I think.

 

Now I cant do 60kg for more than 5 reps the last time I did legs, which was last week.

 

So I know that I can improve by actually training etc, but still so sad.

 

Also sad because came to otago to be better person but slipped up again, fucked Sem 1 papers, still no job or car or girlfriend even though dont really want gf only sex but also not even that and even if I did get to that id probably be so nervous and cry etc.

 

When arived in otago I was like f*ck yeah, gonna smash box, go to town etc many times a week (I did for the first month or so) then get job in like a week and also get car since nobody really has car or job in my hall so thought to myself id be one of the first to do so, etc, was so happy with myself.

 

Then after o week when ppl were sober for more than 12 hrs I found it hard to make friends etc because I always found it hard, but now im with people that I am friends with but not to the extent of everyone else.

 

Still happy with that accomplishment though because takes me more effort than people that can get people to like them straight away.

 

I dont want to be lazy or pussy or failure, I want to do well and It upsets me when I dont do well, because I really want to.

 

Pls mentor me if you can.

 

Thats why im sad.

[Realtalk]

So go to get a job, go to gym... Then buy a car then get a gf if you want one. Stop drinking and pay attention in class and pass your semesters.

 

Lifes about choices and you are choosing not to do well by choosing options like drinking and not getting a job etc etc. 

 

take a common sense class if they have one at that place for f*ck sakes.

[GyzzBrah]

No not been drinking at all for last few months.

 

This is actually bad, because in otago, drinking and town = friends

 

 

[Realtalk]

So what have you been doing then?

[GyzzBrah]

Literally nothing.

 

Someone should make a plan for me, kind of like a workout plan but for day to day life.

 

Like maybe a one month plan of what I can work towards doing, not arbitiary goals but like certain things I could do that would help me that I dont already do.

 

And I could report back on it and review my progress. Id appreciate that a lot actually.

 

Sounds retarded but Im willing to work towards a program like that.

 

When I first joined gymnation, PETN offered to do something like that and meet up for a training session, so when I told my parents to drop me off at newmarket gym they said nah you will get raped etc. Couldnt take bus either cuz they didnt let me leave house without detailed reasons etc.

 

Even when I went back on holiday a few months ago, my friend who hadnt seen me in months drove up to driveway to say hi etc, so I walked to road said hi before he went to work, walked back in the house and parents were like what the f*ck were you doing walking out like that.

 

But now in otago so can do whatever I want.

 

Serious post btw. Had depression and shit situation once, not going to f*ck up what I have going for me now.

[Realtalk]

You're just lazy. That's your problem. 

[maccaz]

here is your plan

 

go to gym every day unless its a well needed rest day

eat normal food.

cook food, dont complain that you cant

stop looking at porn (srs, its stunting your mind)

car is waste of money for you right now

get a job, studentjobsearch is good

 

 

[Wookie]

Before you do anything, ask "Is this going to help me get where I need to go, or not?"

Justify all the stuff you're doing or not doing.

[HarryB]

People just have to hit the bottom and then assess whether or not they have the motivation to make something of themselves or exist in a meaningful way. You're not in that state yet, you can drop a lot more before you hit rock bottom. Maybe start smoking p?

[GyzzBrah]

not looking for excuses, but solutions.

 

Most kids my age were raised by parents that wanted them to harden the f*ck up.

 

When I was in primary school, my house was a 5 minute walk away. Every day, my mum or dad would park the car outside after school and drive me and my sister home. When we got into the car, my mum or dad would point to the groups of kids walking home (or walking bus etc) and said "look at those poor kids that have to walk home, be greatful you dont have to" I never asked for that.

 

Many of my friends parents would send them to swimming lessions, the intention being to just let them have fun. My dad sent me to swimming lessions "so that I could survive if there was ever a tsunami".

Kids would go to the beach during summer, and play in the water etc.

My family went to the beach too. One day my dad said "lets go to the beach" I said "yay, let me go grab my togs" he said "what for" and I said "to play in the water like everyone else"

He sat me down and said "no way I can let you do that, something can happen to you, you could drown"

 

Kids my age would get a spare set of keys to the house, come home after school when their parents were still at work, make themselves something to eat, then do whatever.

 

My mom quit her job "to take care of us after school, so we wouldnt have to be like the poor kiwi kids"

 

When I told them "cant you just get me some keys so I can walk home and you can just work".

They told me to go wait in my room, then sat me down and told me some BS about dangerous murderers who could break in if they werent there to protect me.

 

I was 17 before I got a set of keys to the door.

 

When I was a very young child, I had what I now know to be obvious signs of mental illness. My school noticed this, and tried reffering me to some public health groups that could help me out.

My parents immediatley "defended me from harm" and said they would take me away and give me intravenous medication (in reality, it would probably be group therapy or counceling or some shit)

 

The post above is genuine and sincere. I know that very little of what I post here has been sincere, but believe me for once Not using it as an excuse for anything. But hopefully you guys can understand why its not just me being "lazy".

 

Quotes in Bold are actually real quotes from my parents, or atleast paraphrased to what I can recall to memory.

[GyzzBrah]

Also Maccaz, if you dont believe what I wrote above is true, dont comment. Just dont reply. Please.

[Realtalk]

I don't believe you... Learn to swim so if ever a tsunami... Lol what a dumb arse. You don't swim in a tidal wave. 

[GyzzBrah]

1 minute ago, Realtalk said:

I don't believe you... Learn to swim so if ever a tsunami... Lol what a dumb arse. You don't swim in a tidal wave. 

 

I know you dont.

 

The only dumb ass is the one who told me that.

 

Anyway, not looking for arguments or sympathy, only solutions.

 

The old gyzzbrah who only said dumb shit on the forum is not there.

 

Ill start by going to the gym today obviously.

 

[HarryB]

Lol you Crack me up. 

[Realtalk]

I gave you solution, I will break down for you.

 

- stop being lazy sack of shit

 

- get a job

 

- stop whinging

[maccaz]

realtalks solution covers it.

dont blame the past, dont blame parents. if i spent all day blaming my parents for being fucked up when i was younger id never get anything done, you got off lightly.

 

stop being  lazy, just start sorting your shit out. you know exactly what to do.

[HarryB]

Really what you should stop doing is being the Kim Kardashian of gymnation... there's enough attention seeking whores here lol don't be the one who just takes it too far every single time... 

[GyzzBrah]

Maccaz tell me about your upbringing, pm if you want.

[maccaz]

3 minutes ago, GyzzBrah said:

Maccaz tell me about your upbringing, pm if you want.

 

why?

not relevant to you at all

just saying, you're an adult now, you can stop blaming your upbringing, and make up for it by being normal

[maccaz]

also watch jusreign videos on youtube, he is a funny indian guy who takes the piss out of indian parents, you should be that kind of indian person, embrace it

[HarryB]

People complaining about their parents loving them too much and wanting to protect them. Self entitled wankers. Your poor mum and dad just doing their best to make a good life for you and this is how you speak about them. It's actually appalling. Hate on people who do things to you with bad intention. We all have our family issues and I for one will be pming you about my upbringing (I'm hoping it was an open invitation not just maccaz specific) but how can you even begin to berate your parents at this stage of your life. Don't they send you money and pay your rent? 

[maccaz]

2 minutes ago, HarryB said:

People complaining about their parents loving them too much and wanting to protect them. Self entitled wankers. Your poor mum and dad just doing their best to make a good life for you and this is how you speak about them. It's actually appalling. Hate on people who do things to you with bad intention. We all have our family issues and I for one will be pming you about my upbringing (I'm hoping it was an open invitation not just maccaz specific) but how can you even begin to berate your parents at this stage of your life. Don't they send you money and pay your rent? 

 

this

have some fucking respect

if i was your dad i would beat the shit out of you srs

[GyzzBrah]

I will never be any 'kind' of indian person or embrace anything of the sort.

 

You are an aware person who has seen more of the world than I. You should know that there is a very significant cultural difference between hindu indians, and the small yet little bit more sophisticated christian minority. They are both fucking intolerable in their nuances (compared to my family believe it or not), but one is significantly more westernised or atleast capable of doing so, due to the english as first (sometimes only) language.

 

Also, it is common knowledge that we often are not able to "smell" ourselves or our homes due to constantly living there. Everytime I walked into a hindu home, or sat next to a non western indian, I have always (and lots of people do), noticed a foul odor (look it up on google)

 

For a while, I assumed that my own self, and home, smelled the same without me noticing.

 

But no. Been away in otago for a few months, went back for midterm holiday, and... No smell. None. At all.

The only smell my family had was either lynx or perfume.

 

So yes, indians raised catholic must be some kind of different variation of indian. Almost certain of it.

 

Also, my whole family speaks english as their first and only language, and I moved here when I was 4.

 

Due to my family being christian, we have never partaked in any traditional indian traditions or nuances like diwali, or had any fanatical obsession with bolywood movies (due to the language barrier) etc.

 

Therefore, when I say I am not an indian, or do not identify as one, is that really a unreasonable belief to have? When you take into consideration what little significance that place or its people have to my personal life?

 

I have also noticed that many local indians here have their own "squad" as my generation calls it, ie a large group of closley related friends. So while most local indians here have a mixed and diverse group of friends, their "squad" still remains their first and foremost point of social contact, and in many places such as Mt Roskill and West Auckland, the "squad" can be seen frequenting shopping malls, theaters, gyms etc.

 

I, on the other hand, was one of only 2 indians in my college year group, the other one was also a christian raised new zealander.

I have certainly never been part of such a "squad", or even had an indian friend in my life.