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R.I.P Duck

Pumpupthejam

By Pumpupthejam
in General chitchat

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rose Veteran member

rose

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Gotta love this town, signs for the ducks, for the penguins, gotta be good karma!

What about the signs saying don't feed the pigeons? Discrimination aye! :snooty: :roll: :pfft: This thread got kinda weird overnight :-s

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teamfatboy Veteran member

teamfatboy

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It was called Alice in Wonderland I think, about a lawyer/ex police officer who liked to cross dress... wierd.

Awesome...I will look it up.

The guy's name was Rob Moodie.... an interesting character, by all accounts.

I'm sure he would have braked for wildlife too :)

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rose Veteran member

rose

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The guy's name was Rob Moodie.... an interesting character, by all accounts. I'm sure he would have braked for wildlife too

Kaftan guy? My dad used to go nightclubbing in a kaftan. No he wasn't a hippy, he was just bloody odd :pfft:

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Peachy Senior member

Peachy

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Wow PUTJ I have a lot of respect for you.

I think that people like you who have been through what you have been through probably look at the rest of us and think how pathetic our problems are. Sometimes I try to think about all the people who have fought in wars and stuff like that just to get some perspective in my superficial life.

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Pumpupthejam Senior member

Pumpupthejam

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Wow PUTJ I have a lot of respect for you.

I think that people like you who have been through what you have been through probably look at the rest of us and think how pathetic our problems are. Sometimes I try to think about all the people who have fought in wars and stuff like that just to get some perspective in my superficial life.

Thanks.

Well after coming out the Army I fully realised all war is bullshit and totally regretted my part in Iraq..........we were just government puppets and I knew it all along really.

And Im glad to be as far away from that shit as possible. (NZ is great.)

So I guess something like hitting a duck shouldnt be a problem for a desensitised ex squaddie like me but Iraq did change my mentality.

Driving back the same night a rabbit ran across the road and i thought oh ffs give me a break!

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Peachy Senior member

Peachy

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Are haemeorroids lumps on your butt!!?? :-s Haha I had heard of them before buit I never knew what they were LMAO :lol: but gross...

Strange example to use PUTJ... :think:

Buy hey Peachy your problems are as real and important as mine and anyone elses.....

Thanks :oops:

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Pumpupthejam Senior member

Pumpupthejam

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Are haemeorroids lumps on your butt!!?? :-s Haha I had heard of them before buit I never knew what they were LMAO :lol: but gross...

Strange example to use PUTJ... :think:

Buy hey Peachy your problems are as real and important as mine and anyone elses.....

Thanks :oops:

I do like women's asses cuz they are sexy but I dont have a fetish for arses in general or bum stuff lol.

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Chillicat Senior member

Chillicat

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I just got sent this really bad joke, about a dead duck:

A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

"I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried.

"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry." "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

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Pumpupthejam Senior member

Pumpupthejam

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I just got sent this really bad joke, about a dead duck:

A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

"I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried.

"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry." "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Haha not bad.

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