deegee Posted June 30, 2005 Report Share Posted June 30, 2005 stick with it and the results will come. These downs seem to come in cycles for me. persevere things will look up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Posted June 30, 2005 Report Share Posted June 30, 2005 Wow - I am amazed that you're doing as well as you are given how little you're eating. That would drive me nuts in a very short time. How far out is your contest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Thursday6.50am - 50mins Cardio @ gym (Not too intense)8.30am - Porridge with protein powder9am - Back to bed :wink: 12.30pm - Tuna mixed with 1/4 can canned tomatoes, kumara & brocolli3pm - Protein Shake3.20pm - 50 mins bike5.05pm - Protein Shake7.20pm - Fish & Salad10pm- Mashed banana with protein powderMy mood continued to be much the same as Wednesday. I am feeling really nervous about getting down to a competition standard. My relationship with the mirror has deteriorated and I cannot stand the reflection that beams back at me - GOD I AM SO FAT!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :evil: Thanks guys for all your positive comments! It is really heartwarming to know that I can come to this site and blow my stack without being considered a nutter (well I hope you don't think I'm a nutter... :? )...My competition is 6 or 7 weeks from Saturday (depending on which one I'm ready for... Really hoping it is the comp that is 6 weeks away).My flatmate is starting to make me nervous by saying "I hope you don't peak too soon. We really have to watch you..." Oh dear! :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudonym Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 My flatmate is starting to make me nervous by saying "I hope you don't peak too soon. We really have to watch you..." Oh dear! :roll:Take that as a compliment. Obviously those fears that you're not losing fat fast enough are unnecessary! :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 Saturday9.15am - 1hr 20min walk (approx 7km)10.45am - Porridge with protein powder & a few apple crisps2.20pm - 200g Surimi, 3 egg whites & 1 yolk scrambled, 1 1/2 serves Tabouleh4pm - Protein Shake4.30pm - 45mins Cardio @ gym7pm - Dinner - Roast Chicken, salad, tabouleh7.30pm - Fell asleep in front of tv10pm - Shifted myself to bed The last couple of days (well actually week) have been an emotional nightmare for myself... It all exploded on Friday night and let's just say I was a sobbing mess for an hour or two (didn't get to sleep till 2.30am). The situation involved a member of the opposite sex - need I say more? LOL Men are wankers... LOL :pfft: I think I was so upset because I was also frustrated with the diet and I was tired and rundown, not a very good combination at all. But nothing a 7km walk in the sunshine couldn't fix on Saturday morning. I'm now over it and focusing on my training goal 110%!Hmmmmm... My training goal... As the days wear on I feel less and less confident of attaining my goal. Starting to feel sick to the stomach with worry and fear. There is sooooo much to do. I have to practise posing and finalise a routine... SIGH! Get a bikini, get the tan etc etc etc... That's if I don't have a heart attack in the meantime due to anxiety and stress. I have been stopping myself having these thoughts and taking a moment to breathe in and out - that seems to work at the moment...Here is a bit of a rude joke that cheered me up :-Q) Why can't a lesbian go on a diet and wear make up at the same time?A) She won't be able to eat Jenny Craig if she has Suzanne Paul on her face! :pfft: :grin: Keep training hard guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 SIGH! The past few days have been a bit of an effort to stay motivated and on the ball. I am still on track and haven't fallen off the rails in terms of cardio or diet. The mood I am in now just wants this F**KING thing to be over as soon as possible!Thursday6.50am - 50 mins cardio @ gym8.20am - Porridge w protein powder11am - Protein Shake2pm - 1 can tuna & 1 cup brown rice2.45pm- Chest & cardio4.50pm - 'Carbrite' bar - raspberry7.20pm - Chicken & salad9.55pm - Protein shake10.15pm - Bed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growth Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Its good that you have managed to stay on track even though its getting hard. Well done :clap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jono Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 remember, if you're going through hell.. keep going :grin: keep up the hard work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.A Muscle Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 tallulahangieJust an observation, but you need more carbs, and fats. Unless your taking truck loads of BCAA's, HMB, CLA, O3 ect. You will be loosing alot of muscle. Tell me what supplements are you taking? Tell me everything, and I will guide you through to your show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Friday6.50am- Cardio @ gym8.15am - Porridge with protein powder11am- Protein Shake1.45pm - 1 vogels sandwich AND 4 slices sushi3.25pm - 45mins bike4.55pm - 'Carbrite' Bar7.20pm - Chicken and salad9.45pm - YoghurtAfter pottering around the house for most of Friday morning, I was feeling low on energy before I had to meet someone for lunch - I nearly fell asleep while driving! :shock: I was in the mall for lunch and I craved sushi something wicked. Initially I was determined to be content with my vogels sandwich but alas I was not and I gave in to temptation and bought some sushi. I have to say it was the best goddamn sushi I've ever tasted! :grin: My energy levels perked up almost immediately and I felt much more energized...Food, food, food! All I think about is food... It is soooo crazy! It hasn't got to the point yet where I am dreaming about food, but once I have that first dream about food, that's when I'm officially crazy!!! I'm so obsessed with food that I love looking over the food section in the magazines and if a cooking show is on telly I will watch it (in particular - Jamie Oliver's new program on TV1 Monday night - that was a great show! ) Food, glorious food!Most of the time I'm not physically hungry (e.g. my tummy doesn't rumble and I don't get hunger pains) but just an empty hollow feeling that I want to eat more... I live for the next meal. I have my dinner at night and even though I will eat before going to bed, I still can't wait to eat my porridge in the morning! 8) So that is my obsession with food at the moment... It is my birthday on Friday... Do you think that I should treat myself with a low-fat dessert or small slice of cake? Or is it better to continue the way that I am to avoid falling of the rails? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 Saturday6.30am - 50 mins bike7.45am - Porridge with protein powder10.45am - Banana1.30pm - Fish and salad4.40pm - Yoghurt6.10pm - 50 mins bike7.30pm - 1 serve Beef Stirfry9pm - 1 bowl Weight Watchers Jelly (equates to 4 serves @ 9 cals per serve) & 1 1/2 tablespoons Lite Vanilla Ice-cream10.55pm - Protein shakeSo I ate a bit extra in the evening on Saturday (namely jelly & a little amount of ice-cream). But hey, I enjoyed it and that's all that matters at the moment. Never mind the guilts afterwards...A slooooow boring day at work again... I had finished all that I had to do by 3pm so I had 2 1/2 hours to muck about twiddling my thumbs... At morning tea a colleague commented on how cold she was and I replied that it was not cold. Her response - you have got A LOT more meat than I have... :twisted: I was quite offended by this as this particular person had a small potbelly herself and was hardly in a place to comment. As she ate her pie I said "Glad to see you are eating a pie, you obviously need the extra meat on you..." Huh! Stupid idiot! However, this incident was cancelled out by another colleague's comments. The woman says to me "Have you lost some weight?", and I reply, "Yes I have been trying to as I have a competition in a few weeks." The woman went on to comment that I had lost some serious weight and that I had to be careful as I could get addicted to it. "Don't worry I will put it back on!" was my only response. Dear me... I hate incidents like this. It really puts me into an uncomfortable position, like I have to explain my actions.I had the house to myself on Saturday night. :grin: It was really good to have some time out and relax with my own company. I had a surge of energy so I spent some time scrubbing the shower!?!?! LOL I wonder how many calories that burnt... LOL After my short burst of energy I sat down and watched my new all-time favourite movie - "Strictly Ballroom". It is such a positive "feel-good" movie and really motivating. The message being loud and clear - "Dare to be different". A neat film! Keep training hard guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2005 SUNDAY6.40am - 50 mins bike8.30am - Porridge with protein powder11am - Yoghurt with protein powder1.30pm - Beef stirfry4.30pm - Banana6pm - Abs & 50 mins cardio8pm - Chicken, broccoli, kumara10.30pm - Small protein shake11.30pm - Protein shakeSundays are meant to be happy days, but this one was not so happy for me. My weigh-in did not go so well... I had not lost any weight but put on 100 grams! I did expect to plateau at some stage but nonetheless it is still quite a shock after losing weight consistently for the past few weeks... My emotions were all over the place. Initially I felt an emotion similar to rejection and I felt totally dejected. Next was a surge of anger. I was angry at myself for, well, I was angry at myself! GRRRRRRR :twisted: Not to worry... My mood soon changed when I had my routine composed in 1/2 hour - yes 1/2 an hour! This woman is a legend! I was so impressed! She told me not to worry about the scales, she said I had lost fat since last time I saw her. So I felt much better! Really motivated. I CAN DO THIS!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hrdcor Posted July 11, 2005 Report Share Posted July 11, 2005 tallulahangie, (can I just call you Tallu ?)I notice you write Cardio @ gym , I was wondering if you do your cardio first before your weights or the other way around?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2005 To hrdcor - In the morning I usually do 20 mins stepper, 20 mins cross-trainer, 10 mins rowing. Or bike or treadmill. It is in the afternoon/evening I do my weights (makes sense really - I have a whole day's food in my body for strength). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2005 MONDAY6.35am - 1/2 Protein Shake6.50am - 50 mins cardio @ gym8.20am - Porridge with protein powder11am - Protein shake and yoghurt2pm - Steak and salad and 2 egg whites5pm - Carbrite bar6.15pm - Shoulders8pm- Chicken and broccoli9.30pm - 30mins bike10.15pm - Mashed banana with protein powderThe addition of a protein shake before my morning cardio was on advice of my trainer. She is of the school of thought that you never do cardio on an empty stomach. The explanation made sense, but I can't remember it all to write it in this post. But I'm sure the most seasoned athletes will be aware of the concept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2005 TUESDAY6.35am - 1/2 Protein Shake6.50am - 50mins cardio @ gym8.20am - Porridge with protein powder11am - Protein shake and yoghurt2pm - 1 packet soup (Continental low carb-chicken & sweet corn), 2 slices vogels toasted, 2 egg whites, 1 serve seafood marinara5pm - Carbrite bar5.45pm - Arms7.45pm - Fish and brocolli, 2 egg whites9.30pm - 30 mins bike10.15pm - Protein shakeI spent a couple of hours today trawling through low-carb recipes on the internet to find a suitable sweet treat for me to have on my birthday on Friday. There are a lot of good recipes out there but the only thing is that they take a little extra work to source the product to put in them - e.g. almond flour, gluten flour (you can but this from the supermarket) etc. Who knows what the recipes will turn out like, but I guess all you can do is try! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossley Posted July 12, 2005 Report Share Posted July 12, 2005 Hey there,I just had a couple of questions with regards to your pre-contest nutrition.From what I've read you are seeing someone with regards to diet and training. You are doing heaps of training and that part is all looking great. I'm just comparing my pre-contest diet to yours and I definitely don't want to come across as though I'm questioning your nutrition expert so please don't think that! I'm just curious about the bread (wheat) and yoghurt (dairy).For my last competition I wasn't having any bread or dairy from about 8 weeks out and from about the 6 week mark the weight started to drop off quite fast again. My trainer also had me doing a depletion and load phase from week 6 which meant 3-4 days of depletion with very few carbs (only carbs were from veges and my porridge in the morning, so no other starchy carbs at all) and then 2 days of loading, this consisted of porridge, rice cakes, banana, kumara and potato.I found that by depleting the muscles for 4 days (they looked quite flat by then) and then loading for 2, but the end of day 2 load I looked quite pumped. The theory was also to cycle my calories so I had between 1300 and 1500 on deplete days and then up to 1700 on load days.Just a thought, it worked for me but everyone is different. Your trainer will know best, but I wondered if this had been considered?Anyway keep up the hard work. I've been reading your posts and I was exactly the same from about 6 weeks out. (Oh the things I have to look forward to again) You are so close yet it seems so far away. I got panicky, I cried over the smallest things. I flew off the handle for things like walking in and the dishes hadn't been done etc. It is all worth it for that 10 mins on stage though. Stay focused and keep visualising that stage! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted July 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2005 My sincerest apologies for not keeping my journal up to date, but frankly my dear I just didn't give a damn.The past two weeks have been a bit of a blur. I had my birthday on the 15th July, which was great, no actually euphoric because of the ice-cream and cake I sneaked in! :roll: Seriously, it was the best birthday ever because of the cake and ice-cream! (Sad but true! LOL)Since that 'blip' two weeks ago things had been going well.I maintained my focus on the training and diet and things were going really, really well... Until... Sunday (24th July)... I weighed myself at Club Physical Te Atatu and expected a loss (it had been 2 weeks since I had last weighed myself) and lo and behold I had gained 1kg since the last weigh in!!!!!! :shock: :evil: :twisted: :shock: I was guttered. My immediate reaction was to burst into tears. I felt disgusting, horrid, useless, a piece of shit. I just cried and cried and cried and cried. Got some concerned looks from people at the gym... I felt so horrid I ended up going home and had a half-hearted attempt at suicide... :cry: I felt so low and so thought very little of myself... I ended up going for a walk around the streets at 8pm that night to clear my head, and eventually I managed to calm myself down and knock some sense into my head! Mental illness or what?!It is now Friday and life is much, much brighter. I found out yesterday that the competition I was intending to compete in (Club Physical Bodybuilding Champs) was to be postponed (for a second time! :evil: ). That annoyed me immensely. All my hard work! So I decided I would not bother with such an amateur competition. I was now left with the predicament of what to do next... I certainly was not going to give up on all the hard work I have done so far! So I set about looking in to comps around the date I was meant to compete. The PIBBA show was the closest I could find...Now I know that I will get my ass kicked by all those girls who have age (and therefore muscle maturity) on their side. But I will enter the Novice Figure category with my head held high, aware of my own personal journey that I have followed. My goal is to get up on stage, do my routine and have the experience of competing (the goal I set myself for this year). I know deep down that I will not place, but I would rather get up on that stage and compete than to live with the thought that I have wasted 8 weeks (so far) of dieting and training for a non-existent comp(Club Physicals). I could have spent the last 8 weeks eating and training hard to grow...So on Saturday it will be 5 weeks from the PIBBAs (3rd September). I am 200% (plus the rest) motivated and very fortunate to have an extra 2 weeks up my sleeve. It means that I will have to readjust my diet/training to ensure that I last these next few weeks and not peak too soon. Does anyone have any ideas on what I could/should do?Got to keep going... Train hard guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growth Posted July 29, 2005 Report Share Posted July 29, 2005 Good to hear an update on your progress, im sure youll be able to use that little weight gain for some great motovation in the comming weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jono Posted July 29, 2005 Report Share Posted July 29, 2005 stay the course.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudonym Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 Well done, Tallulahangie! You looked very good!How do you feel it went? I think the competitors got more loot than they did last year... Any plans to go on and do another comp while you're in such good shape? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deegee Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 Well done, Tallulahangie! You looked very good!How do you feel it went? I think the competitors got more loot than they did last year... Any plans to go on and do another comp while you're in such good shape?Did I miss something??!!But it sounds like Congratulations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulahangie Posted August 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 EEEEEK! LOL! Someone saw me??? What did you really think Pseudonym?I had a very positive first-comp experience but do not wish to repeat it anytime soon because of all the extra gaff that goes into it on the day - e.g. tan, make-up etc etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudonym Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 Hahah... that sounds exactly like what I said immediately post-comp - "Fun, but I don't think I could be bothered to do it again." After a few weeks I added, "At least, not this year." But at the next comp I saw, it changed to "Man, I wish I was up there in that condition again..." Now if I've got this right (and I may not have) you were the sole Figure competitor? I think you looked very good. Nice proportions and symmetry. Possibly could have come in a bit leaner, but that's not to say there was anything wrong with your condition. You had a good, even colour to your tan (what did you use, btw?). I think you could hold your own in a larger comp.Perhaps one of our resident judges could comment?EDIT: This was the Club Physical competition, Deegee. Was this instead of, or as well as, the PIBBA comp you talked about earlier, Tallulahangie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deegee Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 Any pics of the big day?if you are not going to compete for a while what are your new gaols and how is training going anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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