lewiemurray Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 As some are aware, i weighed 146kgs and now standing on the scales at 95kgsthere have never been any rocky roads as to my training and eating regimes.over the last 6 months i have been training out of my garage with drips and drabs of differentgym equipment friends and family have lent to me to borrow! Friday the 28th March i signed up to the gym with the support of my partner!since then nothing has felt better than working out in the gym where there is every equipment you need to benefit yourself and body.its like a kid going into the candy store for the first time! thats how the feeling was for me! ts only been 3 days and i have been to the gym 5x in those 3days last workout was this morning!However theres always that 1 dead end we always come to meet up with and thats the partnersaying why do you need to go to the gym again? its like your putting the gym before her and the kids!the thing is when you get into the gym world after hibernating in a rusty old garage sheding sweat and painis that you see changes in your body after each cardio session on the tredmill or bike and all the weights you just pushed!i know because i feel these changes and are noticing it still doesnt mean i am putting the gym first!Signing up to the gym i acknowledged to my partner that i would like to make a daily planner so that my gym life balances with my home life and family life,,during our time we had our debacle today about the circumstances of me putting the gym first i told her i wanted to go to the gym because im feelingbecause its a new me a new beginning a new chapter to my body something she will never understand! as a result to the conflictthings never got resolved and we left eachother on bad terms! in my mind if she is thinking that im trying to put the gym first over her and our familythen what good is it me being at the gym if she feels this way! i just wanna give it all up seems like me losing weight and feeling great day in day outwas just not to be! i wanna feel good but not if my lady is feeling the way she is! so i guess this is it! the end of an era that was suppose to be something great to making that sacrifice to make her happy and quiet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel101 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 This is never an easy situation I can understand she is feeling either left out, threatened, or inadequate or a combination of all three.My suggestions would be as follows:Firstly never give up the alternative is an overweight and shorter life, you owe it to yourself, your partner, and your children to lead the way.Try to limit the gym time to and hour a day surely this cannot be asking too much from your day to improve your health, and realistically an hour a day is all you need. At the least 4 days at the most 6 days.Make a commitment to one day doing what your partner wants and share time with her.It may take a while but get her involved in the gym at some level or another that suits her, she will benefit from it too.Make it a family commitment to improved health and life as a whole, a change in lifestyle, it will take some strength but pays huge bonuses.These are just some suggestions you may like to consider, they may not work but worth a try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewiemurray Posted March 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 This is never an easy situation I can understand she is feeling either left out, threatened, or inadequate or a combination of all three.My suggestions would be as follows:Firstly never give up the alternative is an overweight and shorter life, you owe it to yourself, your partner, and your children to lead the way.Try to limit the gym time to and hour a day surely this cannot be asking too much from your day to improve your health, and realistically an hour a day is all you need. At the least 4 days at the most 6 days.Make a commitment to one day doing what your partner wants and share time with her.It may take a while but get her involved in the gym at some level or another that suits her, she will benefit from it too.Make it a family commitment to improved health and life as a whole, a change in lifestyle, it will take some strength but pays huge bonuses.These are just some suggestions you may like to consider, they may not work but worth a try.i am grateful for this comment and helps me understand the whole balance between gym and family! each point you pointed out enabled me to to re write my daily planner to ensure i do add a comitment day to her and making the gym a family comiment for us after all i am losing weight so i never go back on the sleep aponea machine so that i can sleep by my partner and kids without a ugly machine providing me with oxygen to breathe better whilst sleeping! thank you so much it meaaans alot to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FellowshipOfTheRon Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 as above, it's all about compromise and really communicating what it's all about. you've definately been making good progress so far, it's a shame she doesn't acknowledge that (or does she? and perhaps feels that she'll 'lose you' or something like that if you keep going?) she might also feel that by going, you're getting your end of extra-curricular/free time while leaving her to look after the chores(/kids). "i want my free time too, why don't you come look after the kids/house while i go chill with my friends"; "why don't you spend more time with us instead of running away to the gym/bar/rugby club" kind of story gym - you can make good progress on 1hr a day, 3 days a week.. don't need to be in there for over an hour 5 days a week especially not when your partner is concerned like this. a good alternative is to just go gym for the weights early morning before work (that's like 30~50mins session). when you get home after work take the wife and kids out on a long as walk together. eventually turn the walks into runs.. 1km, 2km, 3km... she will start seeing changes in herself too not just physically but mentally and of course the kid(s) can only benefit from this in terms of getting more time with their parents plus the obvious health benefits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinahlady Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Women are always going to be unhappy with something. Rebel is right you shouldnt need to spend more or much more than 1 hour in the gym a day to keep on making progress and to be healthy. I also agree getting her to join up to the gym and/or doing more physical things as a family like going for walks/park etc - if you wanted to do more than one workout a day then the family walk could count as a "cardio" session. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel101 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Its interesting generally I find that once people have figured out that there is an enjoyable alternative to being over weight and unhealthy that for a while they head in the opposite direction and over do the excercise.Finding an acceptable balance is critical to keeping going at excercise and diet long term. Your family will benefit tremendously from your commitment in many ways. Children do as they see their parents do so if you want them to be healthy then they will follow your example.However first you have to feel good about yourself and excercise will do this for you. But hahahaha its can be difficult to limit yourself once you have found your way. I am the typical bodybuilder with a typical obsessive complusive personality but I have learnt to limit myself.It can also be difficult blazing the path for your family it will take some determination and patience I think, you are doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewiemurray Posted March 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Thank yous all again for all the comments, honestly reading and taking in each and every comment has made me want to keep on keeping on because seriously before i was thinking about myself and now yous have told me its not just about that its about my partner and family if i can manage time to sort them out then my training regime shouldnt be a problem!! im so fortunate that there are people who have serious answers and simple solutions that can make me feel a sense of relief off my shoulders! honestly yous all are the best!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel101 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 And dont forget to keep us updated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel101 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 If we can help we will, and our comments come from having been there and worked through the issues ourselves.Keep it going !!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ngapuhi strong Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 i feel you bro, my partner had our third kid few months ago and she was getting upset with me going to gym twice a day, once cardio and once weights.one way to ease the tension a bit was to get a cheap cross trainer and put it in the lounge that way i can do my cardio at home well still talking to her and being around the kids,i also remind her how little i was able to do with her and kids before i made these life changers and how with the changers ive made and will continue to make it will lead to a longer happer life together Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubZ Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 I feel you on the partner thing. I don't have kids myself though. But my solution was to get her into lifting now she loves it almost as much as me I guess that wouldn't work as someone will need to look after the kids though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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